Wishing for my currents to change

Not much goes by without your own efforts. Before coming back to my home in Dallas, I had a lot of general plans but not really any exact ones. I’ve been back a month as of three days ago, and don’t know exactly what the hell I’ve been doing. Well, maybe it’s not that.
I’m doing a few things I wished myself to do prior to my return. I’m learning mandarin little by little, and I’m educating myself about worldly events that everyone should be knowing. I’ve seen the friends that have given me the effort back to see me within this month that I’ve been home, that I discovered actually missed me haha. I’ve spent extra time with my family and have slowly been learning to cook more meals that I usually just pay for. I got a job that I start next month that’ll be beneficial for my future. But speaking truthfully, I’m not content.
The more I know about the world, the less knowledgeable I feel. Everyone knows that the world is a big place- it has a wealth of information that is unfathomable. I don’t know a lot of things, and it’s frustrating. But with that said, it’s a learning process. What I’ve been feeling really crap about is the fact that many people know things, but few do anything about it. So what if you know about the chaos in the Gaza Strip? So what if you know a thing or two about up and coming gay right movements or the number of people dead from the traffic accident in Germany, or the break down of the highway during the world up in São Paulo?
You know this, you know that, what then?
There is so much that can be done, and I’ve been so irritated that I’ve done nothing at all. This is when the focus comes in. When my mom told me that I don’t seem like I’ve been fulfilling my goals, I was ashamed because I knew that I lost my motivation.
But man, not all hope is lost. There’s no war in my neighborhood, there’s no poverty in my house, and I have wifi. I have understanding parents and a desire to do something, and I will. Hopefully my volunteer deal works out because I really want to be part of something that’s near to my Texan heart. As a child, we were all (most of my friends) lucky per say. I’ve always had food and some source of money. But not everyone has, so taking part with the U.S. Humanitarian crisis in South Texas organization would be quite the honor for me to give out the only piece of me that I see fit- time. Hands together that it’ll work out, because someone needs my time more than I do.

Macy Gray - I'm In Between